He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
