I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
