I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
