So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
