Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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