how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
