I bet he comes in French.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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