It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
