my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
