Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
