he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
