It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
her vagine was all disorganized.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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