butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
