Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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