You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
