woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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