Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I could fuck to npr.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
