was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
