are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
