I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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