i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
