Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
