Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
