Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
