my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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