Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
