Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
