Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
