I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
