the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
