sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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