Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
