Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
