The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
