she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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