Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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