I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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