i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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