Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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