Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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