Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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