STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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