dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
