So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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