Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
