woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
