I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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