Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
