So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I enjoy the company of your penis
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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