if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
the liver wants what the liver wants
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
