I'm really into asian looking animals
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Randomize
